Baby, Are You The Yin To My Yang?
Mindfulness is balance.
When he’s hot, she’s cold. When she’s hot, he’s cold. How do couples achieve balance with intimacy and sex? Mindfulness is essential in every area of our lives. In this case, the individuals in the partnership need to be mindful of one another’s sexual energy. One of the best ways to achieve balance in an intimate relationship is to respect your partner’s energy. Do you recognize the level and/or intensity of your beloved’s energy? Be mindful, not only of what you feel but what the other person is feeling and experiencing. Therefore, mindfulness requires a little selflessness.
Let’s begin with the obvious. Women and men are different physically and intuitively. It’s important to acknowledge this fact in order to respect the process of sexual engagement. In Taoism, there is respect for the achievement of balance between male and female. This is referred to as Yin and Yang. According to this concept, sexual energy is balanced by allowing the female to reach her point of energetic sexuality in her own time. So, if it hasn’t become apparent to you already, it is safe to say that the female energy usually leads when it comes to managing intimacy and sexuality between a couple.
Although the male may take the lead from the female, fulfilling intimacy can be achieved collaboratively through foreplay. Be mindful that foreplay begins first with preparation and of the mind (mental foreplay). The male and female enjoy the energy exchanged through verbal stimulation and sensual touch while allowing each other’s passion to build naturally. It is acknowledged in Taoism, that males are the yang when it comes to sexual energy. This means that males are quick to boil and ready much faster for sexual engagement than females. Females, on the other hand, must be allowed to simmer. Females require much more stimulation or foreplay (both mental and physical) in order to be open to sexual encounters and physical intimacy. A female must yearn for what the male is already set for.
Being mindful or simply aware of the response times during sexual intimacy between males and females is vital to achieving balance in relationships. Mindful awareness of the differences between male and female stimulation can decrease frustration experienced by many couples during intimacy. So ask yourself this, “Are you the yang to your lover’s yin?”
These are the mature exchanges that will be directed through therapeutic assistance to couples in Radiant Soulutions. Ashanti teaches couples understanding of one another through respect of your beloved’s Innergy…that Energy!
Ashanti Shakir, LMFT
